Out of blue, something called 'Saturday Blues' slowly descended from atop, and befell upon me. -- Hence day-mare began. Each Saturday, I would feel immensely tired, extremely stressed, and emotionally unstable, almost incontinent.

 

Being an individual conscious of her own behaviour and emotions, I didn't allow my investigation even one day of delay. But apparently all my research methods were all to no avail. I was tired yet happy during weekdays, I came home late and tried my best to gather the strength so as to go to work in the morning; the bear and me talked every evening; I meet up my friends for meals or meetings...The machine called human body seems to be running flawlessly well during the five days at work. And I see no reason why it insisted on a routine break-down every Saturday...

 

It feels really bad. I usually feel tired, but still, driven by the desire to see someone's face, or by the obligation of doing something as promised, I would drag myself out of my comfortable resting nest and start a whole day of orbiting. Then, all of a sudden, I would be swept by sudden tides of sadness and exhaustion, and tears would roll down my cheeks in an imperceptible, but almost interminable manner. This surprised my close ones, even frightened them. But how am I going to explain to them that I didn't intend to cry, not the least bit; that I couldn't figure out the source of that salty water myself; that it has nothing to do with them?

 

One of my friends attempted to explain to me that, during the weekdays, I lie, so as to convince myself that I am happy, hardworking, and fulfilled; while in fact, I might be tired, worried, and lonely. But I lied so well that even my mind believed that. --- Until the weekend arrives and the strong and deceiving mind is no longer capable of putting up excuses and showing illusions...I am finally forced to face my own weakness and sorrows. It sounds complicated, but after a deep ponder, I believe that at least half of this theory is true.

 

And that's when things took a U-turn and got better. After realizing my emotional ailment coming from my own mind, I would simply ignore this little trick played by it. If I am tempted to reject a plan of spending some time with the bear, I would take a deep breath, rest for a while, and let those thoughts of longingness for him emerge. After a careful auditing of my 'cheerfulness index' as well as my 'energy gauge', I would give that idea a second thought. --- In usual case, I would be happily spending some quality time instead of brooding in my room alone. If I am alone and seized by the languidness, I would allow myself a nap without the bound of an alarm-clock. And after a few hours, I would wake up afresh, all happy and recharged.

 

But still, I deeply appreciate the hug I received, at one sudden onset of my Saturday Blues. It's always good to feel safe and relaxed with some ones, with whom you don't need to hold back your laughter, mockery, and tears. To me, that's the best thing revealed by this unprecedented Saturday Blues.